Wow. I've never been to a wedding quite like that before. But I certainly know what you are talking about. Even in less extreme situations, I've seen women contort themselves to conform to married life, stifle the words they really want to say and act calm when they are screaming inside. I could go on but that's enough. You already get it.
I'm with you on this one, Jess. There is little posted these days where I wouldn't offer at least a slightly different point of view, yet seldom make the effort to respond. Considering all that, to simply agree with you here seems like it would be superfluous. Yet here we are.
Through twenty years of marriage I never saw myself in such a controlling relationship as you describe here , but when I finally pushed my wife too far she pushed back. She forced me to either give up the fantasy relationship where I thought I was in control, or just walk away and move on, give up that relationship, and maintain my fantasy of control.
Since then it has been a daily choice. The old attitudes have a way of persisting. Yet over and over I have found that opening myself to the possibilities my wife offers to the world, I find myself open to new possibilities. It took twenty more years of marriage and a lot of work for each of us before our world truly began to bloom. My self-centered attitude had dug us a pretty deep hole. One day at a time, and by fits and starts, new horizons continue to emerge and we hope to celebrate 50 years of marriage next year, but the last 30 years have felt so much more real.
Wow. I've never been to a wedding quite like that before. But I certainly know what you are talking about. Even in less extreme situations, I've seen women contort themselves to conform to married life, stifle the words they really want to say and act calm when they are screaming inside. I could go on but that's enough. You already get it.
Thanks Gayle!
I'm with you on this one, Jess. There is little posted these days where I wouldn't offer at least a slightly different point of view, yet seldom make the effort to respond. Considering all that, to simply agree with you here seems like it would be superfluous. Yet here we are.
Through twenty years of marriage I never saw myself in such a controlling relationship as you describe here , but when I finally pushed my wife too far she pushed back. She forced me to either give up the fantasy relationship where I thought I was in control, or just walk away and move on, give up that relationship, and maintain my fantasy of control.
Since then it has been a daily choice. The old attitudes have a way of persisting. Yet over and over I have found that opening myself to the possibilities my wife offers to the world, I find myself open to new possibilities. It took twenty more years of marriage and a lot of work for each of us before our world truly began to bloom. My self-centered attitude had dug us a pretty deep hole. One day at a time, and by fits and starts, new horizons continue to emerge and we hope to celebrate 50 years of marriage next year, but the last 30 years have felt so much more real.
Thanks for sharing! It's great to hear that you and your wife were able to evolve over time into a better place. And congrats on (almost) 50 years!