You go girl! Whoever, or whatever, God is must, by definition (although I would question this definition of the Divine as much as any other), be radical beyond human imagination.
Hi, Jessica. I feel as though I should read your post at least 10 times before I respond but I know if I don't write something now, the moment will pass.
A couple of things hit me strongly: "How can I live in doubt without paralysis?" As a person who deals with doubt a lot (I am a 6 on the enneagram, which explains a lot about me), I can say that I do sometimes, or even frequently, fall into paralysis. It has gotten better with age but it's still there.
You say, "I’m constantly afraid that if I go too far down the rabbit hole if I commit too far to my growing convictions, I’ll end up living with regret, having become a zealot for an unworthy cause." I get that, too. It's pretty easy to jump on a bandwagon without knowing much more than all your friends who think like you are on it. But you have a good answer: "I’m fairly convinced I need to slow down and dig in."
Anyway, thank you for talking about what you are going through and putting it out in the world. The quest never ends. I still feel as though I am evolving and that's OK.
You go girl! Whoever, or whatever, God is must, by definition (although I would question this definition of the Divine as much as any other), be radical beyond human imagination.
Thank you! I agree!
Hi, Jessica. I feel as though I should read your post at least 10 times before I respond but I know if I don't write something now, the moment will pass.
A couple of things hit me strongly: "How can I live in doubt without paralysis?" As a person who deals with doubt a lot (I am a 6 on the enneagram, which explains a lot about me), I can say that I do sometimes, or even frequently, fall into paralysis. It has gotten better with age but it's still there.
You say, "I’m constantly afraid that if I go too far down the rabbit hole if I commit too far to my growing convictions, I’ll end up living with regret, having become a zealot for an unworthy cause." I get that, too. It's pretty easy to jump on a bandwagon without knowing much more than all your friends who think like you are on it. But you have a good answer: "I’m fairly convinced I need to slow down and dig in."
Anyway, thank you for talking about what you are going through and putting it out in the world. The quest never ends. I still feel as though I am evolving and that's OK.