Christian churches may avoid dangerous pitfalls by studying destructive cults
Harmful behaviors can creep into our spiritual communities. It's our job is to accept this difficult reality and protect the vulnerable among us.
We’ve all heard of churches that harm their followers by covering up child abuse, misusing church funds, or encouraging married people to remain in abusive relationships, but churches can also hurt their congregants in ways that are less obviously destructive. Moonie cult member turned psychologist Steven Hassan quantified the mental manipulation tactics used by destructive cults to control their followers and compiled it into Steve Hassan’s BITE Model of Authoritarian Control. Unfortunately, after I learned about this model, I noticed a shocking resemblance between some evangelical churches and Hassan’s “destructive cults.”
Some behaviors listed in Hassan’s BITE Model are common practices in contemporary churches, but maybe they shouldn’t be. Though I doubt most churches employ the requisite deception and undue influence necessary to qualify as destructive cults, Hassan’s work is relevant as a way to establish guidelines and expectations for church behavior.
BITE stands for control of behavior, information, thoughts, and emotions. A few well-established aspects of church life such as teaching meditation, prayer, and singing make the list as “thought-stopping techniques” and are labeled “Thought Control.” Additionally, “ritualistic and sometimes public confession of sins” features under “Emotional Control.” These actions which are necessary and important aspects of the Christian faith can of course be abused and used as distractions. Mark Driscoll famously used the confession of sins during his “demon trials” in an emotionally manipulative manner as a means for his own personal glory. In a recording, he recounts asking people to provide him with a full account of themselves:
“So I tell them, Look, tell me everything, don’t lie, don’t miss anything. Sometimes people will say, Well, do I have to put everything? It’s like, Yeah, and whatever you don’t want to tell me, that’s probably the first thing I need to know. If it’s so dark that you can’t tell anybody, Well, that’s probably the big issue that we have to deal with to get you some help.”
Although confession is an important aspect of Christian life, it must be engaged in with caution. Driscoll’s abhorrent behavior demonstrates that sensitive personal information can be misused to control others. Blind trust in leaders, even spiritual ones, is a recipe for disaster.
At a summer camp, I witnessed firsthand an adult man isolating teenagers of both sexes claiming that God had shown him that they needed to confess (or more accurately share their darkest secrets with him). Often these individuals were teens some close friends, whom I knew had already suffered abuse by parents, ex-boyfriends, and the like. It seemed clear that he was targeting at-risk individuals, and I was concerned about their safety. I decided, with one of the girls he had targeted, to report this behavior to the pastor in charge. We were told we needed to give the adult man the benefit of the doubt and told not to object to his potentially dangerous behavior toward minors.
On the one hand, I can understand that having conversations with people, calling them to repent, or asking for confession could appear like perfectly permissible behavior. Nothing about this is illegal or necessarily reprehensible on its own. However, considering the abundant accounts of grooming, abuse, and emotional manipulation that have surfaced in evangelical circles in recent years, I believe the leadership should have paid more attention. After all, placing parameters on adult behavior towards children isn’t an accusation, it’s just common sense.
Rachel Denhollander, a woman whom I greatly admire for her advocacy in this area, states that better communication around abuse is a major way to prevent abuse from happening in the church. Additionally, leaders who know the signs of potential abuse and manipulation form a necessary bulwark for the vulnerable people in their care.
It’s important to realize that there are individuals in the church and out of it who if allowed will cause harm to the body of Christ. Some might not even fully understand that their behaviors are putting them in an inappropriate position of power. But the dangers persist regardless of intent. To protect Christians from spiritual abuse, we need to take seriously the prevalence of manipulative behavior as illustrated in the BITE model.
Below I’ve attached a color-coded list assessing the prevalence of authoritarian patterns that I personally witnessed in the non-denominational church in which I grew up. The purpose of this list is not to accuse churches, evangelical, non-denominational, or otherwise of being cults. Instead, the goal is to demonstrate the ways that harmful behavior can creep into our spiritual communities to better protect those worshipping Christ together at our churches.